It’s Halloween today, and many of us in the PGi offices are dressed in costume. Halloween is an especially fun holiday to celebrate our alter egos and explore our hidden natures—who we might want to be if we weren’t who we are. Halloween invites us to explore our wild side, our darker nature, or our more silly selves, depending on the costumes that resonate with us most. Are you feeling like more like a Rubix Cube or Jason Voorhees? Do you identify more with Siri this year or Margo Tenenbaum? The choices are endless and limited only by your imagination.
And yet the holiday brings with it a more salient reflection on our everyday experiences. We all wear masks each day in our own way. To a certain degree, masks worn in conversations with people are an attempt not to reveal our true selves, sometimes because of insecurities or a lack of trust, other times because of a simple lack of information. However—despite these very real concerns—when we are communicating with others we realize that sharing our true selves constitutes a powerful act of engagement. Speaking, presenting and communicating authentically from what you truly know and believe—whether it’s with just one person or an audience of a hundred—can instill a sense of strength, build self-confidence and inspire trust. Especially in more difficult conversations, communicating authentically and without the masks of deflection, buzzwords, or other artful strategies can bring dysfunctional or complex issues to light and solve real problems.
Not everyone wants to solve problems and remove the mask, however. Communicating authentically requires bravery, stepping outside one’s comfort zone, paying attention to the conversation and respecting all speakers, even if they aren’t respecting you. There are infinite nuances at work when we communicate in conversations, both personal and professional; a terrific way to improve your skills is self-awareness. Remove the mask and embrace the real you. Strive to understand what motivates you, what helps you feel connected to others, and what helps you feel understood.
We at PGi encourage you this Halloween, as you secret yourself within a costume, to think about what truly lies beneath. Are you wearing a mask in your communications with others? If so, is there more of yourself that can be shared? Can you be more present and attentive in your meetings? Can you turn on your webcam during your next video conference call? Can you stop multi-tasking give one thing your full attention until it is finished? Can you listen to what another person is saying instead of rehearsing in your head what you intend to say in reply?
These suggestions represent only a few ways we can engage with others and interact authentically with our work so that we can make a real difference in our relationships. For more information about succeeding in communications and “crucial conversations” when the stakes are high, see Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler’s book. Their expanded perspectives have helped me tremendously.
